Fetal Heart Rate Doppler

Well I got my fetal heart rate doppler in the mail this afternoon, and I was so excited to test it out !! And it was worth every cent as I got to hear baby's heart beating away, and it was such a relief to know that everything was okay !! I have to say that the sound of my baby's heart beating is one of the best sounds on earth !!


And I just wanted to add a huge THANKYOU to all of those special people out there who have kept me going the last few weeks - you all know who you are and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it !! xx

12 Weeks - Belly Shot

11 Weeks and 4 Days !!

11 Weeks and 4 Days

Friday, 22nd January 2010

Well I have been very slack with my blog lately... but I have been in the process of unpacking and moving into our new house, so I do have a legitimate excuse !! Seems everything is happening all at once.

So we made it to the 12 week mark yesterday, which is a first, but it still seems completely surreal. Even though I've seen a real 'baby' on the ultrasound I still can't believe that it's actually happening to me. Even when I look at the ultrasound picture on the fridge I keep thinking 'is this someone else's pictures'...

But so far, so good and only 6 days away from the 2nd Trimester !! Fingers crossed that nothing has gone wrong in the last few days... I have a fetal heart doppler coming in the mail to try and get some peace of mind. So hopefully that's here tomorrow afternoon..

Ten (10) Week Ultrasound

Nine (9) Week Ultrasound

Scared, Worried and Extremely Anxious

Okay, so I know a lot of people out there are probably going to get frustrated and angry with me for what I'm about to say... I'm really scared that this baby isn't going to make it just like all the others !! :o(

I know that only 4 days ago my little 'bean' was just perfect, and that really should be putting my mind at ease. But it's just not... I'm now in that 'time' of a pregnancy when I get bad news, when I have a scan and they tell me that there is no heart beat. And I just can't stop thinking about it - 24/7. The worry and the stress even sometimes stop me from getting to sleep at night, even though I'm sooo tired. And yes I know that exhaustion and being tired is a pregnancy symptom. I know the symptoms like the back of my hand, and I've probably done more 'research' on it then most people I know.

I'm supposed to have another ultrasound on Wednesday, but I don't think that I can hold out that long. The Dr had me double booked anyway because it's just a simple scan, so I'm going to try and get in tomorrow. I'm going to be / should be 9 weeks tomorrow but I just don't know how this little one is going right now... and it's the waiting and not knowing that is adding to the stress.

And I know I'm probably being negative at the moment... but that's how I feel !! I know people are just looking out for me when they tell me to stay positive and that everything's going to be alright. But nobody knows that for sure !! And when I voice my concerns I'm saying them because that's how I feel at the time, and I have to be able to tell 'someone'.

I'm not looking for sympathy or for anyone to tell me it's going to be okay. Sometimes I just have to get these things off my chest and to say them aloud so I can start to feel a little better. I don't want to feel like I 'have' to be positive all the time, or pretend that I'm 'not' having a difficult time.

I am so very scared of what I'm going to see or not see this week at my next scan. If things are still going well, then this will be the furtherest we've ever come and I just 'might' be able to picture a future in which I do get to become a mum. But the other 'more common' result is one that I can't bear to even imagine going through again.

All I can do is wait now...

Eight (8) Week Ultrasound